I went to the doctor today. First appointment of the day. I told her, without a few thousand tears, what was going on with me. And....
She gave me a medicine and said "Well, if you want to see a therapist, just check with your insurance about what they cover, but remember it's a new year, time for change" or something along that lines. Basically "here is a pill, buck up little camper."
My problems can't be fixed with a pill. Though they can help me not be so desperate.
My problems can't be fixed with the start of a new year. Though it can give me an opportunity to make amends.
My problems can't be fixed with change... if I don't know what I am changing.
I keep remembering something from West Wing, my favorite TV Show ever.
What I need is that friend who can help lead me out. But I'm afraid the friend that I depended on, the one I loved, the only one who I could and did count on, was the one I hurt the most in all of this.
I'm afraid I'm going to be in this hole forever, because no one knows the way out.
So I Go to the Doctor...
Posted by
ShellePenn
Thursday, January 2
Labels: self
6 comments:
Sometimes we have to look VERY Hard... but we CAN find the light at the end of the tunnel... It is NOT Easy..but it IS worth the effort. The best is when you have Furends who will HELP you see the way. WE are your furends... WE will do all we can to help guide you.
We are very much sorry that the doctor you saw was not helpful... perhaps you could look fur a number in the yellow pages...
Shelle - it is me again. I just want to say that I really have been in that hole and yes, it does feel like you will never be able to make it out - it does take time - I know that is not what you want to hear but there really is no magic fix, I wish there were. Like you said, problems can't be fixed with a pill and the desparation does even out and what that will do is help you be able to deal with whatever it is you are going through - PLEASE believe me when I say I have been there. So sorry you are hurting now. HUGS to you.
Mom Kim
Shelle, please please please believe me when I say we have all been in a terrible hole at one time in our lives. It seems the sides are so slippery and there is never a way out, but there is. Sometimes its not the way we even intended to go, its a new way. I once was in a painful hole and didn't even realize the door leading to a whole new place in my life was right in front of me. I do not mean to be clicaque (sp?) at all, but it does start with one step, and we alone can take it.
Its really hard also. You can't go backwards, and we never get re-do's, we just put one foot in front of the other. I am so sorry you are going through this but please know once to get to the top of that mountain there is a whole new experience waiting for you. You are stronger than you believe.
StellaRose's momma
Mommy said that you know how to find her day or night! She is ALWAYS here for you.
Hugs,
Lily Belle
We think you must approach your friend. Be brave and ask how can you out things right? Only they can answer that. If you love them you must at least try. Wishing you good luck and we are all here for you.
Best wishes Molly
WHN knows exactly how you feel! She has been going through this for most of the last year, so she knows!
WHN says that you are to call her day or night- she has nice big shoulders to lean on and you have the five DWM too!
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