Simpatico: The Post When I P*ss Off Every Driver on the Eastern Seaboard

Simpatico

Just the life and times of a silly girl, her dachshunds and all things Southern!

The Post When I P*ss Off Every Driver on the Eastern Seaboard

I'm back from vacation!! Yay!! I know you've missed me.  I mean really missed me. Oh, ok, so you've really missed Milo, Dixie and Newby, but let me pretend for just a bit, mmk??

I would love to write just one post about my whole trip, but y'all ain't got that kinda time. I mean it would be like War and Peace length, but not nearly as boring and probably more important a piece of literature if I was to be honest.  So you'll just have to wait for little snippets of stuff.  And, look at it this way, with my ADD I'll probably get bored and move onto another subject quicker than I'd like and you'll not have to read my "Vacation Chronicles".

So, back to the subject at hand.

Honestly, you can just stop reading here, because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make you or a relative mad. :D  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Reed and I ALWAYS drive down to Florida.  We love the ride. We do some bonding over music and books on CD. We people watch. We drive really fast. (As I'm back I will say that with complete aplomb as Mr. Florida State Trooper is pretty far away from my little house in Kentucky.)

Now I'm not a weaver in and out of traffic, making a tapestry of mad drivers who are waiting for me to pull over at a rest area so they can lynch me or anything. But... I made several people angry.  In turn, they made me pretty mad, too.

So let me go on to tell you who I found to be the best and worst drivers of Florida Trip 2012.  Keep in mind we traveled down I-75 to Orlando (814 miles which took me 10 hours 11 minutes with 3 potty/gas breaks and a 45 lunch break.. yeah, do your math and you can get my average speed which is well above the speed limit, but as I was told to 'keep it under a 100' I kept my promise.. mostly), then up the coastline to visit Miss Puddles on the way home (895 miles which took me 87 million hours because of all the University of South Carolina fans who were hoofing home from being beat like a red-headed stepchild by the University of Florida Gators).

The Best Drivers?  Those who weren't on the road.  Seriously, I could write a diatribe on how inconsiderate people are, but since I really need to get to the gym to work off some of my Aunt's cooking I will refrain.

If I had to pick a "best of the worst" driver it would be Georgia drivers. They would at least get over out of the fast lane if they saw me barreling up behind them.  They didn't seem to camp in the fast lane making the slow lane the 'new' fast lane. Seriously folks, that makes me so mad... Why camp over in the fast lane, people? Get your bidness done and move back to the slower or middle lane!!!

I hated Tennessee drivers for camping... for being inconsiderate... for just being lame in all things.

Delaware, Maryland and North Carolina drivers seem to mostly be concerned with things going on in their cars. It was weird. You'd see them weave and they were busy fiddling with their purses or radio or lighting a cigarette.

Ohio and Kentucky (where I'm from) were so busy gawking at stuff they had no clue they were driving. It was sad. I mean, you let them out of the country for a bit and they cannot keep their brains to business.

South Carolina drivers. Well, they were just too funny to watch as they were mostly sporting USC Fighting Gamecocks stuff and they had just been sent home by Florida's Fighting Gators. Nothing like seeing a fan base coming home from a beating. :D

I had a New York driver flirt with me... at least I think that is what he was doing when he rolled down his window and pointed to the ceiling of his car with his middle finger. I mean, for New York that has to be romance, eh?

If you drive a motorcycle, pull a caravan/trailer, or drive a Prius, I hate you. I loathe your very existence. 
 

The Worst Drivers of all? Florida. I am pretty sure they actually are not ALL Florida drivers, but have rental cars and are all from Tennessee or something.  They short stop, they talk on their phones, they do not check their blind spots, etc. I saw so many 'near misses' while in Florida that I stopped counting them and just considered them 'normal'. Now that is sad.

The worst place to drive? North and South Carolina.
Dear Government Officials, Please open up toll booths at the start and the end of your state and charge us all $2.00 a car to get in and then out of your lovely area. Use this money to make all your roads 3-4 lanes. Thank you, Shelle P
The prettiest places to drive? North and South Carolina. I think they did that on purpose, tbh.

I have never been in a wreck, I have never had a ticket, and although I've had some near misses, I've always been a safe, although fast (read that lead-footed) driver.  So should you be going to Florida around the beginning of the year (when I am planning to go to Orlando again) and see a little silver Hyundai Azera coming up the fast lane, move your slow butt over. :D




10 comments:

Casey October 24, 2012 at 9:11 AM  

You should drive in Texas. You'd feel right at home here!

Lovable Lily October 24, 2012 at 9:50 AM  

S,
I'm crying down my leg right now...... I couldnt have said it any better myself!

And yes, (being born and raised on Long Island, NEW YORK) the middle finger sticking straight up in the air does mean "I'm your friend, let's have a go at it!"

Kim

3 doxies October 24, 2012 at 10:15 AM  

Sherioushly, we hash bad dwivers???? Hey, dish beer is shoooooo gooooods. OMG, it'shs like REAL beer...not groshrey shtore beer...hehehehehe.

I always wondered what dat middle finger was furs cuz people seem to do dat to my mum and then hers be all like..."OH MY GOD, you FREAKING UGLY BLEEP BLEEP!!!!!!" Glad to knows I can com heres and get educated.
Yea, peoples round heres ain't gotta clue hows to drive...but what do you expect with half a population that have only a high diploma or GED...and dats seriously pushin' it, there is a HUGE percentage of drop outs too.

Puddles and her skinny Paula Dean mum

3 doxies October 24, 2012 at 10:23 AM  

OMD...OMD...bwhahahahahaha...I just read your comment over at Reuben's...bwhahahahahaha!

Puddles

Amber DaWeenie October 24, 2012 at 11:17 AM  

BWHahahahahah....Sounds like quite a vacation!

:o)

Hap-Pee Winds-Day

stellaroselong October 24, 2012 at 3:10 PM  

Mom often gives Dad that middle finger...she tells me it is a sign of love. We needed to good laugh today!
stella rose

Nola October 24, 2012 at 8:04 PM  

Mom hates driving through GA, you can't spit without hitting a cop! Welcome back!
Nola

Berts Blog October 24, 2012 at 11:26 PM  

Well, we have just joined you as followers. Miss Puddles suggested you and we are so glad she did. Hilarious is the word she used.

My Vickie says she is probably one of those Florida drivers in a rental car and she wanted to appologize. WE are here in the outback of Utah and we don't really understand what traffic is.

Our trip to Florida was pretty scary. She almost gave up on driving.

Not really. But she did get several middle finger greetings when she was there. She was really happy to learn that it is flirting there.

Nice to meet you
Bert and My Vickie

chicamom85 October 25, 2012 at 3:20 AM  

Hi I am Sasha and I am visiting from my sweet pal Puddles. I was hoping we could be pals too. Please come and visit me if you can.

Loveys Sasha

Molly The Wally October 25, 2012 at 4:48 AM  

BOL funny. Here we have all sorts but the worst is in Paris round the Arc De Triomphe where it really is Gladiators at the ready. You take your life in your hands and it is the only place in Paris were insurance does not cover you at all. Otherwise Eastern Europe is a must. You will really have a nervous breakdown. Looking forward to reading more of your trip. Have a terrific Thursday.
Best wishes Molly

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