You weren't supposed to message our mom with how cool yesterday's post was, how you know us better, how we are handsome (though that is very true...) and how great it was to know more stuffs about our lives. You were supposed to crack the whip! Tell her to get all the ball! Take us shopping! Scritch our backs! Rub our bellies! Provide treats on the hour, every hour, for a week!! We need her to step up! But now she thinks that being mediocre is fine! -sniff-
In fact, she hasn't taken us on a ride in a MONTH! A. WHOLE. MONTH! A whole month has gone by without any Puparazzi adventures! Now we know it's been too hot to even go outside, but still. We have air conditioned cars!! We could easily sit and enjoy the ride with our ears flapping in the cool air. But instead, mom keeps us inside for our "safety". Lazy, we say! LAZY!!!
Peeps should be required to do certain things. In fact, we are gonna list out what we feel our mom should be doing for us. We hear about the diva singers having a list of demands for their time at concert halls and stuff. So we deserve something just as special for us!
Daily Butt, shoulder and under neck scritches. The kind that makes our back leg do that really cute shaking thing.
Ice cubes in our water. Both inside and outside water. In fact, we think we should have bottled water. Preferably Dasani.
Umbrella service while outside doing our business. The umbrella would keep the sun, rain and snow off us while we are doing our 'thang'.
Fresh laundry to lie in daily. We would like it "just out of the dryer" warm; enough to toast our bellies and make us sleepy.
No baths. Ever.
Deliveries by UPS, Mail and/or FedEx each day so we can 'get our bark on'. We gotta practice!!
More trees. There should be trees inside as well as a grove of trees outside. You can never have enough trees to leave some pee-mail.
Automatic bone dispensers. When we wag a tail in front of it, it dispenses a fresh chewy for chewing. In fact, several of these around the house dispensing Pupperoni, Chicken Treats and Milkbones would be nice.
NO Baths, EVER!
A human, prone, at all times so we can use them as a pillow. This is non-negotiable. We must have a breathing pillow for our naps.
And lastly, mom to quit saying "Get off the Computer... Your Doggie Bill of Rights is going no where!!"
2-leggers are just a pain some times, eh?