Dachshund German for Peeps 101

We, Milo, Dixie and Newby, are so happy to be back after some awesome possum luncheon to be teaching you peeps a very important subject:

Dachshund German for Peeps 101

We know your furiends have been trying to talk to you.  We mean the talk to you ALL THE TIME. But do you really know what they are saying?

Our mom, even after having 3 years of high school and 7 semesters of college German still cannot understand.  Probably because we all speak in different dialects.

Dialects. Here is your first word to remember... Dialects are different in each of the areas we live.  For example, Mayor Frankie and Ernie speak with a northern accent and Miss Puddles (who will be best served not to throw another rubber band this way) speaks in a southern accent. For these lessons we will be talking in the Kentucky White Trash German Dachshund Dialect. Just imagine us in some white wife beaters on an episode of Cops (bad dog bad dog whatchu gonna do whatchu gonna do when they come for you).

Of the three Mr. Newby is the most vocal... well, when Dixie isn't talking... or Milo isn't barking. Ok, so they all three do not shut up. But, hey, that's a dachshund for you!

I'm gonna try to help you understand what the different barks mean. I'm sorry some of the videos are not the best. I didn't want to turn on the flashy thing as they would shut up.

Here you can hear Milo doing the "Bitte seien Sie still" bark.  I'm sure we've all heard this bark, and know the sound.  What he is saying besides "Please be quiet" is "if you do not stop moving that thing and turning it on I will rip the tires off it and then start working on your legs."  It is often a good idea to follow his instructions. Dachshunds = Death from the ankles down.

Here you have the "OMG THERE ARE INTRUDERS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD" barks.  It goes something like this in German: Stop. Gehen Sie weg. Sie gehören nicht hierher. Stop! Stop! Stoppen!

 "Das Eichhörnchen! Das Eichhörnchen! Squirrel! Machen Sie das Eichhörnchen lassen!" Squirrels. >_< Those tree rats are our torment. I'm sure you can figure this bark out... totally different than the intruder bark. 

No clue why this is on it's side. There isn't a lot of dialogue here... just Newby being cute. Consider it your recess!

 This is "gimme the damn treat you silly boy before I rip of your testicles". I don't need to add the German. If you have boys, then you understand why Newby is so upset.  

The whine you here is because I'm singing.  It isn't clear what he is saying, but he cries when he says it. Perhaps it is just the music moving him or perhaps Newby is not a music connoisseur. And I know daggum well it has NOTHING to do with my voice. I sing purty-ful.  You should hear him when he here's Puddles' favorite song "Payphone".  His cries are heartbreaking.

Our test and final exam is for you to translate this one. (Yeah, it's on it's side again.. so lesson one for our film maker, make sure you film with the LIGHTS on and horizontally...)